As the proud owner of both The Birthday Book and The Relationship Book which explore the secret language of astrology and its place in our decision making process, I feel it is my duty to report to all hot people about the fragile astrological condition of our universe. As it now stands, we are enduring the malady of Mercury Retrograde. Don't panic. To the untrained mystic, this simply means that planet Mercury appears to be orbiting backwards. Scientifically, this little runt of the solar system has not actually changed direction, but the illusion of it carries some pretty heavy horiscopical consequences. Namely, routine transportation and communication are interrupted and faced with unforeseen changes and blockages.
So far this week America has seen a 50-plus vehicle pileup on an interstate in New Hampshire, a desperate Indiana money manager crash a plane in Northern Florida, and good god, a US airways plane take a dip in the Hudson. Take that naysayers. This shit is real and it's here to stay...well at least through the inauguration. Also, I advise all readers to hold off on all major decisions and life changes. Although, I find it hard to believe that readers of this particular blog are faced with any major decisions. If you are, stop reading this garbage blog, find a dark room with a fully charged ipod, and think about the trajectory of your own life.
In the meantime, watch your back until this astrological rain cloud is lifted on February 14th. I scoff at the irony. Clearly, the stars really are blind.
Love,
Mercury Poisoning
(yes, we thought this went well with our pan-pacific authorship)
No comments:
Post a Comment