Today my 23 year long professional dry-spell has come to a sudden halt. After literally tearing my hair out since mid-December of '06 that I would never find a viable career post graduation I am finally greeted by the welcoming, open arms of employment and justification for existence. Thank you, God.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, opportunity is knocking and don't bother getting up, I'll get the door. No, I am not being rewarded with a job because of my standout performance at one of America's finest small private liberal arts universities or for my ability to nail an interview or present a flawless resume chalk full of summer internships and letters of recommendation. No, the world is not recognizing me for my performance in the business arena or for my credibility in an academic setting. In fact, no one is remotely interested in hiring me for anything having to do with my brain.
I am going to be a Hand Model. Its true. I was approached this morning in our office kitchen and asked if I would be the model for our upcoming photo shoot for some print ad's. A hand model that is. This is my dream come true. I am already doing hand exercises at my desk - the shoot is on the 24th so that gives me a paltry 12 days to get these phalanges whipped into shape! And my new job comes with perks.... thats right, I get to get a manicure on the agency tab. Jealous?????? I thought so.
And they say we're in a recession and new jobs are completely extinct. Please... I got a job by doing nothing but hanging out and being awesome. Man, what a high. Feel free to send letters of congratulations, bottles of champagne, and bouquets of flowers to:
3 Bethesda Metro Center
Bethesda MD 20814
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