Ties are so random

Though I recently read “Green is the new Black” off some bia’s recyclable grocery bag, I’m pretty sure it meant “Hott is the new white.”

I feel it pertinent to address this issue since we know you’re all thinking it. Did these savvy Hott Pockets rip off Stuff White People Like? In the words of one auditory garage event: I can explain.

SWPL flirts with an affection for sushi, studying abroad, and Starbucks—the vanilla trifecta. And though we find this literature a most excellent resource for the Caucasian race at large, our primary personality delivers an inclusive spin on the exclusive—a self-defined hottness, a dip into the Polaroid Beach House pool, and topics that require more philosophical attention than Oprah or Voltaire would ever know what to do with.

Having said that, Cali's got it right. I think we're going for a full swing here when we need to address the simple things in life. Like why am i selling copiers for a living, why did I run into a boy I made out with when I was 14 in the dominican republic this morning, and most importantly why do my coffee baristas never remember me?

Random is the new hott. And that my dear friends, is my new years' resolution.