Would You Rather, An Etiquette Guide

For years now, Hot People like us have supported and engaged in the long standing, mind-stimulating game of “Would You Rather?” The game calls upon members on the cusp of the Hot Generation to pick between the less of the two worse options. And no, there is no ‘passing’ (that’s fucking bullshit). But every now and then, the boundaries are blurred, the lines are crossed, and you find yourself vocalizing to a large group of people that you would rather go down on Oprah than be locked in a coffin with a dead Michael Jackson for 15 minutes.

(Just look at that caramel beauty. We know what you’re thinking. And at least, she’s hygienic. If you disagree with our above ‘rather’, we highly encourage a spirited debate in the comments section.)

It is at this point when your royal Hotness begs the question: when and when not is it appropriate to play this provocative game? And more importantly, how much do you want to slap or disqualify the person that is so hung up details or better yet, reposes the question as if to introduce a new question? That is not how it works, my friend. If you are one of these people, then chances are you probably possess other annoying qualities. Like abbreviate entire sentences. And say “babe” and “sug” a lot.

But alas let’s not tangent. Truly this is an inclusive game and a great medium for expression. (Much like the gchat custom away message…more on this nonsense later.) The truth is you really get to know your friends when a question like, “Would you rather receive flowers or oral for the rest of your life?” is posed. Think of it as team bonding, trust falls, or what you may. These questions are poised to push your intellect into realms you've never thought possible. When it comes to WYR's, there’s NEVER a wrong moment to pull out this bag of tricks. Except in front of your boss and 'doing you' is one of the two options (sorry tr, unacceptable).

Can you imagine the potential for the following first date conversation?!?!

Him: So what do you do?

Her: I sell copy machines. What do you do?

Him: I’m in finance (specifies i-banking group in twenty words with some combination of leverage, capital, and global which all somehow tie into title.)

Her: Speaking of doing—Would you rather do Beyonce or Rihanna?

Him: I'm not really that into...

Her: You know what, forget it. I know what you were about to say and that is just racist. This was never meant to be. Goodbye.

So in addition to the joys of Love Day, we expose Would You Rather for what it really is—sexually explicit, character-defining entertainment—that Hallmark should seriously consider incorporating into their latest collection of Sympathy cards. Because let’s face it, with a genius WYR in play, you’d have no reason to be sad.