Only Children

Tonight's rerun of Gossip Girl was so incredibly terrible that this happened to entertain ourselves durring the comercials... yes, indoor human horse dressage. But that is another blog... tonight I want to discuss Only Children. Hot people often started off not as hot people, but as only children. This is because their parents had no other prior commitments to stop them from helping their child reach their ultimate hottness potential (uhp) For example, Suri Cruise wears red nail polish and high heels at age 4 and you guessed it - she is an only child. Tom and Katie are doing their best to help their only child reach her uhp.

However, being raised as the only child/masterpiece of older parents is hard. (Especially for Suri, someone call child services!!) Without other distractions my mother always had time to pack me lunch. So I always got homemade food not lunchables like my cool multi-kid-family friends. And on Christmas morning I would get stage fright when all the adults stared at me as I was the only one sitting under the tree surrounded by presents to unwrap while my friends happily fought with their siblings over gifts. Other kids watched Full House, I watched Meet The Press. Like I said, it was hard.

After surviving something like this, I found myself seeking out other people who had endured similar hardships in their formative years. Luckily I found 2 other girls to befriend and live with who both had older parents devoted to the singularly important task of raising them and them alone. We quickly bonded over our parallel histories of being over-photoraphed etc. One of the main qualities we had in common was our ability to play with ourselves for hours upon hours as children.

Unlike some Only Children who abandon their solo games for group activities when they enter mainstream society, we have not lost the gift of alone-playing. In this picture you see Only Child MRW demonstrating that she has not lost the ability to self soothe. Here she is showing us how an only child plays 'horsey'... without another sibling to ride as the horse, mr was forced to be both horse and rider, an exhausting task which she spent hours doing each day of her youth.

PGS who is playing the role of the jump in this picture was also an only child and often chewed on tables to keep herself busy during the long quiet years of her childhood. This is how an only child plays 'termite'. (this is a less commonly known game, but quite stimulating none the less) Lucky for both of these lonely souls, tonight they no longer have to play alone, and can be horse and jump together. If i hadn't been busy capturing this priceless moment on my pinkberry (lame ass blackberry that is pale pink... what was i thinking?) i would have gladly joined in as the role of the jockey.

So tonight I bid you only children everywhere to strive for your uhp, you may be alone, but you are still hot!