The Walnut does have a small grass...landing strip... if you will. We grew it ourselves using a non-conventional method of covering our entire yard with burlap sack in hopes that it would yield the luscious green lawn promised to us by the hardware store employee who sold us 15 feet of burlap.
Unfortunately, the environment of northwest DC is a relatively violent place to rear chickens, puppies, and even to leave adult humans unattended. The Georgetown cuddler is the number one offender in our parts, thus far he is most famous for getting in bed with - and then doing no further harm to - random sleeping women, but there is no telling what he might do to the silky likes of mk and ash.
Furthermore, one of my roommates is highly prone to lighting fires in our fireplace which i suspect has no ventilation whatsoever and also has a distinct fondness of grilled chicken. So far he usually inlists the aid of the panini machine for grilling and safeway for the meat... but his manly instincts may kick if he were to see two long-furred delicacies prancing delectably around our front yard.
Imagine the horror of arriving home from work and finding him skewering mary kate with a fire place poker... or worse yet, constructing a crude rotissery contraption in the fireplace and seasoning ashley to be roasted over an open fire. ghastly. Dont get me wrong, I am not accusing the roommate in question of having any violent tendencies whatsoever. I am merely saying that you cannot be too careful.
And with the election looming large, there really is no end to the traumatic possibilities of what some crazy person might do if they saw me parading around town with chickens on a leash.
What about you Spicy? Are there any indoor facilities in your building for jsc's? I would imagine that new york would have at least one jsc grooming salon and organic chicken feed coop.
Friday, January 9, 2009
mary kate & ashley
Speaking of fowl, above is a depiction of what the late Mary Kate & Ashley would have looked like. (Keep in mind, this was pre-bulimia/Promises visits/Heath Ledger). There was a constant debate as to whether the Nostril or Rancor lawns would be a more conducive living environment. Ah they are amazing. Edamame, how much room is behind the Walnut?? Perhaps we can dedicate MRW's self-installed grass patch to these furry fellows.
TGIF, Ingorance, feathers
Ok, first things first. Spicy. Loved the post, you know how much I love incorporating fowl into my life - be it clip on feathered headdresses from urban outfitters that unnecessarily cost 24 dollars, or designing the living arrangements for japanese silky chickens that we had planned to keep as pets. whatever happened to that idea btw?? i really wish we had actually bought jsc's and named them marykate and ashley like we had planned to. what a waste....
But I cannot help but point out that Ignorance does by no stretch of the imagination apply to the concept of intentionally avoiding someone out of spite. This is such a wonderful paradox that you used it (ignorantly.. wink wink) to define your section on ignoring people. loved it.
Anyway, it is Friday. I have never been so thrilled about this in my life. Not sure why as this is a pretty insignif weekend. I think it because tonight is the night I may debut my clip on feathered headdress from urban. Just call me Blair Waldorf. I really hope this trend blows over soon, but nonethe less totally psyched about sporting a side-of-the-head fluffy monstrosity at least once. why not? the ultimate goal would be to find another girl in the same establishment as me also wearing a toupee of down feathers and get her to partake in a normal conversation with me while completely ignoring the fact that we both look like retards. the only way to make this any more glorious would be if someone took a picture of it so i could relive the moment again for posterity.
Another reason for delight over fridayness: impending plan to see Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend, Sam Ronson "spin" as Spicy might say, tonight at a club in dc. a club in dc. yes, this is a mysterious new prospect. but the unexamined life is not worth living.
It is almost noon, and I am completely swamped with correspondences. I dont know how you all do your paid, offical jobs. I am totally busy from 9-5 with gmail, gchat, facebook, textmessaging, voicemail, and now the blog. there is no time. sometimes i barely have time to look up from gchat to acknowlege livestreaming real time people who are standing next to me talking to me. and i am forced to confront the worrisome issue: what is more important to my life? - responding to the blinking box on the lower right of my computer screen or fostering pleasant relationships with coworkers?
Oh one last thing Spice, the carrier pigeon as a way to bolster the tradition of the handwritten letter speaks to me in particular as the number one martyr for the return to note writing. god bless you.
But I cannot help but point out that Ignorance does by no stretch of the imagination apply to the concept of intentionally avoiding someone out of spite. This is such a wonderful paradox that you used it (ignorantly.. wink wink) to define your section on ignoring people. loved it.
Anyway, it is Friday. I have never been so thrilled about this in my life. Not sure why as this is a pretty insignif weekend. I think it because tonight is the night I may debut my clip on feathered headdress from urban. Just call me Blair Waldorf. I really hope this trend blows over soon, but nonethe less totally psyched about sporting a side-of-the-head fluffy monstrosity at least once. why not? the ultimate goal would be to find another girl in the same establishment as me also wearing a toupee of down feathers and get her to partake in a normal conversation with me while completely ignoring the fact that we both look like retards. the only way to make this any more glorious would be if someone took a picture of it so i could relive the moment again for posterity.
Another reason for delight over fridayness: impending plan to see Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend, Sam Ronson "spin" as Spicy might say, tonight at a club in dc. a club in dc. yes, this is a mysterious new prospect. but the unexamined life is not worth living.
It is almost noon, and I am completely swamped with correspondences. I dont know how you all do your paid, offical jobs. I am totally busy from 9-5 with gmail, gchat, facebook, textmessaging, voicemail, and now the blog. there is no time. sometimes i barely have time to look up from gchat to acknowlege livestreaming real time people who are standing next to me talking to me. and i am forced to confront the worrisome issue: what is more important to my life? - responding to the blinking box on the lower right of my computer screen or fostering pleasant relationships with coworkers?
Oh one last thing Spice, the carrier pigeon as a way to bolster the tradition of the handwritten letter speaks to me in particular as the number one martyr for the return to note writing. god bless you.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Messenger Pigeons
I want one of these. I could name it Cornelius or Henrietta depending on its gender, but there are general guidelines and concerns I must share. For instance, what is the weight limit of the message itself? Do they have a maximum radius, perhaps 20 miles, that they cannot exceed before becoming too dehydrated and forced to make an emergency landing? Do they receive messages in addition to send? Must I buy it insurance to protect against unplanned collisions into freshly Windex-ed windows? Is it a fixed cost when you buy the bird or does he charge in a similar fashion to Fedex-- by weight class, size dimensions, and delivery zip?
Reasons why messenger pigeons are still pertinent to the 2009 arena of hotness and my life in general:
1. Tradition-- let us go back to a time when notes were handwritten and delivered by a set of freshly manicured talons
2. Mystical-- if Harry Potter is doing it, so should everyone (that is the second HP reference I have made in this blog-- I dont even like that homo)
3. Surprise-- what better than to receive a friendly or unfriendly unexpected note midday, perhaps a little love peck as well
4. Creativity-- the options for outfits are endless and an outlet for one's creativity. I am envisioning a seersucker beuret for the spring season.
5. Ignorance-- when you are ignoring a friend, what better way to inform them than via messenger pidgeon to tell them you are not talking to them.
6. Unanticipated Value Adds-- the potential that they could double as a doodie dropper on the Olivia Palermo's of the world makes them that much better of an investment
7. False excuses to build things-- how great would a doggy/birdy door look on the wall? It could frequently stop by while I am watching the hills and I could exclaim "Why HELLO cornelius!! What news do you have for me today?" in a blend of universal accent (primarily leaning toward a borat-british intonation)
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. 7 excellent reasons why we should reintroduce messenger pidgeons into our hot, overstimulated, Internet-obsessed lives.
Just don't sodomize them.
Sodomy
January 7th, 2009 our beloved Spicy learned a new word. Sodomize. She also learned that she used it unaware of its loaded connotation in a previous blog posting. I believe in the exact context she sang the praises of "sodomizing young men at Christmastime." Also in this post she offered advice to men on how to "spit game like Beyonce" and that having in-home stripper poles is particularly practical during the holidays.
This is why we needed to have a blog. We have so much to share with you.
This is why we needed to have a blog. We have so much to share with you.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
great minds blog alike
spHOTlight on these two gemini geniuses. we highly approve. especially of that tasty looking jimmy dean sausage/chocolate chip pancake. heaven on a stick.
Officially Sponsering and Subscribing to:
Clean Slate.
Ok, I have just had a breakthrough. this blog was washing the whole horse at once. trying to rewrite the bible. bit off a little more than it could chew.
In the world of blog, my new years resolution is to try to see this as less of a massive statement about my human experience and more as a forum for the listing of random thoughts about my life. much healthier and less likely to induce feelings of doubt about self worth and competence.
spicy, i send this out to you, what do you think? we have two unique perspectives (nyc and dc) on life post lexington - year one - to offer to the world if we can only ground our immortal spirits long enough to write something comprehendable... (also not a real word). how do you feel about this?
for instance, i could write about today, a normal day in the glamorous, ever entertaining life of a washington resident.... today i went to a three hour meeting and said nothing. not one comment. i did eat my cosi salad faster than any one else in attendance though - we all prove our worth in unique ways, no? i also wrote six thank you notes by hand and had a relatively pleasant chat with the starbucks man this morning. (part of my '09 plan to be nice)
for the last four months he has not acknowleged that he sees me almost every week. but finally today after i said, "medium coffee" (i refuse to use the word grande... so nouveau riche) he said, "you always get that" (he sounded utterly saddened by my not wanting a grande non fat tazo tea rasberry cooler with splenda and an extra shot).
anyway, that is what has happened today. i am now going to yoga and then to home to sit and stare at my roommates because our television, internet and phone lines are nonfuncional.
i told you it was glamorous.
In the world of blog, my new years resolution is to try to see this as less of a massive statement about my human experience and more as a forum for the listing of random thoughts about my life. much healthier and less likely to induce feelings of doubt about self worth and competence.
spicy, i send this out to you, what do you think? we have two unique perspectives (nyc and dc) on life post lexington - year one - to offer to the world if we can only ground our immortal spirits long enough to write something comprehendable... (also not a real word). how do you feel about this?
for instance, i could write about today, a normal day in the glamorous, ever entertaining life of a washington resident.... today i went to a three hour meeting and said nothing. not one comment. i did eat my cosi salad faster than any one else in attendance though - we all prove our worth in unique ways, no? i also wrote six thank you notes by hand and had a relatively pleasant chat with the starbucks man this morning. (part of my '09 plan to be nice)
for the last four months he has not acknowleged that he sees me almost every week. but finally today after i said, "medium coffee" (i refuse to use the word grande... so nouveau riche) he said, "you always get that" (he sounded utterly saddened by my not wanting a grande non fat tazo tea rasberry cooler with splenda and an extra shot).
anyway, that is what has happened today. i am now going to yoga and then to home to sit and stare at my roommates because our television, internet and phone lines are nonfuncional.
i told you it was glamorous.
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