Ties are so random

Though I recently read “Green is the new Black” off some bia’s recyclable grocery bag, I’m pretty sure it meant “Hott is the new white.”

I feel it pertinent to address this issue since we know you’re all thinking it. Did these savvy Hott Pockets rip off Stuff White People Like? In the words of one auditory garage event: I can explain.

SWPL flirts with an affection for sushi, studying abroad, and Starbucks—the vanilla trifecta. And though we find this literature a most excellent resource for the Caucasian race at large, our primary personality delivers an inclusive spin on the exclusive—a self-defined hottness, a dip into the Polaroid Beach House pool, and topics that require more philosophical attention than Oprah or Voltaire would ever know what to do with.

Having said that, Cali's got it right. I think we're going for a full swing here when we need to address the simple things in life. Like why am i selling copiers for a living, why did I run into a boy I made out with when I was 14 in the dominican republic this morning, and most importantly why do my coffee baristas never remember me?

Random is the new hott. And that my dear friends, is my new years' resolution.

A Potpourri of Insight Into The Concept of Hottness

This post is an RSVP to the party that is this blog, and to life. Let us take this Christmas season to turn away from the negativity of cynicism and environmentalist-fueled hatred that has infected the joy we once knew. Admittedly, the very title of this blog is derived from the root of all cynical evil - Stuff White People Like, but we have a different take on the state of the world. So much so that our inner glow of love of Hottness has spilled forth into manifestation as an internet documentation - The Blog.

What do Hott people like, nay love? Well, we preach a very inclusionalist mantra. Afterall, at 9.99 a bottle, there is enough Andre to go around, so let us celebrate everything regardless of its nature because what is life if it is not one Hott fete after another?

For instance, we think being white can be hott too. Although it is very much so not en vogue right now to be white or support white behavior in any way, we are willing to peddle this dangerous message. Not in a tone of racial supremacy, but in a tone of over-arching joy for the lifestyles of all people - even the white ones. bless their combed over little hearts.

Furthermore, we think - as the Spicy Tuna has so aptly blogged about previously - that perhaps there is room in all of our hearts for the Christmas Ugly Sweater Party. As tactless as the concept may be, I speak from experience when I say it can actually make for a glorious evening.

Now that I have touched on the Caucasian race as a whole and the vast, yet accessible concept of the Ugly Sweater Party, may I suggest something else that is deserving of the spHOTTlight...

myself.

Only kidding. But not, in a way. I would like to present the topic of another highly esteemed (and frequented) internet destination - the facebook. And more specifically, the Interests. What constitutes a Hott set of interests? is it Hotter not to bother listing your favorite things on the internet because you are out living your Hott life? Or is it harmless to take a moment to tell us all what matters most to you? Or... better yet, should one simply create a grabbag of unusual, but diverting interests that string together artfully or in some hilarious way?

I am very torn on this issue. Also on the Status Update. It is a rare genius who can tactfully write a status update, rare indeed. Spicy Tuna, I hand you the reins, let your imagination gallop away.

Yours in Hottness,

Cali Roll

The Tacky Christmas Sweater-- Overdone or Just Begun?

This is a sensitive topic to most because we all wear 'em. Let's face it, we love xmas holiday parties where we can sodomize young men, boot holiday colors, and typically act like Whitney Houston on a good day. We often pretend we can sing like her too. But the tacky Christmas sweater should not be mistaken for Harry's invisibility cloak. We can see you and you are embarrassing yourself.

Team HottBodsRUs have come up with some general guidelines this season regarding dusting off your electronically-powered, eyesore of a knit that originated during the Reagan-era:

1. Your Rudolph sweater and his 11 dawgs (well deer, technically) flying around your midsection does not a man make.


2. Plus 5 points for wearing an outfit entirely out of wrapping paper accessories.


3. Minus 5 points for sporting something gay like antlers.


4. If you're looking to spit more game than beyonce, we suggest a onesie with footies and butt pouch. That you don't entirely fit into. Our one request: please leave your camel toe at home.


5. And lastly, our final recommendation. A full on ski suit. Goggles and all. And I would somehow incorporate a pole—it might work nicely for later.
   

In the meantime, we will go against everything we just said, wear santa hats to celebrate the paradox of originality, drink a little too much soy sauce, and most likely end up with a little wasabi in our gingers this holiday season.

Love, Spicy Tuna

All we want for christmas...

is bubbly in our jubblies. Introducing the WineRack-- the latest in jug technology. 

Perfect for the opera and church.

You can order Cali and I one here.

Reinventing the Hot Pocket

Welcome. What took you so long?

Who we are: two great thinkers of our generation, so long as what we are thinking pertains to popular culture, nightlife, sophisticated urban living, the adaptation of eastern European accents and/or trendiness.

Why we are blogging: essentially, in a word, it is the new pilates. Although if we are going to get specific, pilates is not that new. To be more accurate, blogging is the new organic food coop... the new way to lower carbon emissions... the new wayfarer raybans... the new leather bomber jacket. Blogging=Change. Trendy, no?

Why we chose our name: people like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have massacred the sacred and intended meaning of the word hott. The very way they utter it is so blase. This is not us. We are seething with passion and intensity for bringing you up to the minute hotness in the most intellectually pertinent way possible. We are going to revamp hotness, give it back its dignity. And make sure it wears underpants at all times.

Wtf is this?

Practically everything from our divine perspective. Life in the fast lane of urban society. Your everyday reference to the good life. It might enlighten, it might offend, it might even titillate, but it will never disappoint. Oh and we don’t review restaurants.

Welcome to Stuff Hot People Like.